it's hard to bash something that's balanced, listenable, and represented in a fairly enjoyable way to listen to....
i think you need to round out the spectrum of the mixes...tame down some high end, and beef up the bottom a bit.
your mix ideas are good. if you are looking for bashes, mix the next one like crap.
FYI, rattleyour, is one hell of a tracking engineer, i'm mixing his tracks right now and they are easily some of the most focused, well rounded tracks i've had the plessure of mixing.
"takeout"
"viking"
"rattleyour"
these guys (from personal exprience of my own) have a really great grasp on what works in budget tracking.....very talented tracking engineers.....all working with little to no budget and/or gear.