The aesthetic angle is intriguing. i'm totally digging it. You could school a horrible band, by drawing professorial diagrams entailing assorted ratios of Suck vs. Talent. Perhaps you could have drummers write 100x "I will not hit the ribbon overheads with my stick twirls," etc. And after hours you could have a whole student/teacher role playing thing happening with the Shakira impersonator, so...
Go for it, patchbay be damned!
No, don't do that without more research, I just got carried away with my last postulation.
Yes, this is an important issue. I'm lacking in knowledge, but I wish you good fortune in your quest. Perhaps Klaus next door would explain the effects of chalk dust on old german condensers...