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[bblackwood]

OK, to lighten things up a touch, I thought I'd start a thread listing some of the more humorous/outrageous audiophool claims and products on the market. Let's throw cables out of the discussion as they have been discussed to death, but cable 'support' products are fine.

I'll go first:

Svalander Audio's Cradle of Silence - makes your cables fly!



Special thanks to 'the J' for showing me this link...

[jackthebear]

I know you said not to mention cables.......however....i remember hearing about cables which had arrows pointing to the direction the signal would have flowed to the speakers.

I mean if you connected them the wrong way round then the music would have come backwards....right?

Cheers,

[bblackwood]

jackthebear wrote on Wed, 31 August 2005 08:02

I know you said not to mention cables.......however....i remember hearing about cables which had arrows pointing to the direction the signal would have flowed to the speakers. I mean if you connected them the wrong way round then the music would have come backwards....right?

Well, a cable discussion can continue here if people desire...

[robot gigante]

Here are a couple I found

  http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=3 282&item=5764740355&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW


I quote: "Mpingo is the Swahili name for Dalbergia melanoxylon, the East African Blackwood"
"Mpingo trees grow best when fertilized with human blood, and because the Mpingo tree produces audiophile wood, it really prefers to be fertilized with the blood from an audiophile. We have learned from long experience Mpingo trees really thrive when fed the blood from a fat white male audiophile who prefers SET?s and horns. The witchdoctor tells us that sacrifices from lovers of SET?s and horns results in Mpingo trees with smoother, less harsh and less angular foliage." (edit)

and

the amazing intelligent quantum dot chip (be sure to read the description of how it works)

http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina27.htm

I've used them both, and I swear the polarized resonance of the positive electron field in my room has taken on an amber hue that I thought was previously unattainable.

[j.hall]

robot gigante wrote on Wed, 31 August 2005 08:32

http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina27.htm I've used them both, and I swear the polarized resonance of the positive electron field in my room has taken on an amber hue that I thought was previously unattainable.

oh man, i fell out of my chair with that one.  seriously, that's one of the best lines i've ever read on REP.

some technical details on this product lifted from the website.

The Intelligent Chip is a thin, 1-inch square orange wafer that automatically upgrades any CD/DVD/SACD disc when the Chip is placed momentarily on the top surface of the player while the disc is playing. The sound of the upgraded disc more closely resembles the sound of a remastered version, with less congestion, more information, greater dynamic range and more air.

don't tell all the ME's re-mastering the classics.

[mdbeh]

Lots to choose from here:

http://www.bybeetech.com/products.asp

[Ged Leitch]

ok so nothing to do with cables but...
Has anyone heard of the guy that was quite famous a few years back for collecting famous folks speeches and playing them back in reverse?
I heard it on a radio show over here in the u.k once and he played a clip of Clinton talking at some speech on the economy but when the speech was reversed ...well you could very clearly hear Clinton say..." I am a snake oil terrorist!"
I SWEAR the above is 100% true, the show was hosted by a brittish DJ called James Whale if anyone has heard of him.

[Viitalahde]

Hoo boy, my favourite topic!  

The C37 laquer

http://www.ennemoser.com/

Paint anything (like your mother-in-law) with this shit, and it's quaranteed to sound k00l!

Silver rock signature knob

 http://www.referenceaudiomods.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Scr  een=PROD&Product_Code=NOB_C37_C&Category_Code=VOLUME &Product_Count=2

Hey Brad, why isn't your transfer console using these? These guys know it - Good vibrations, Bad vibrations it’s all about vibrations!!

The 19,995 euro RCA cables

 http://www.helsinkisoundandcinema.fi/tuote.php?id=233&pa laute=1

OK, no cables but I had to show you this one.

Taming the evil vibrations

 http://db.audioasylum.com/cgi/m.mpl?forum=tweaks&n=83457

My favourite story.

Shakti Stones - electromagnetic stabilizers

http://www.audaud.com/audaud/DEC01/EQUIP/equip3DEC01.html

Who knows what kind of evil shit is flowing in the air?

[j.hall]

excerpt from website:

Description/Theory: These remarkable speakers, sold in pairs, operate at extremely high frequencies -- much higher than the audio band - actually in the microwave band, above 1 Gigahertz (GHz). The Ultra Tweeters are connected to the output terminals of existing speakers with speaker cables - preferably light, flexible ones - since the Ultra Tweeters themselves are quite light. Ultra Tweeter principle of operation is very unconventional. They don't generate sound in the audio band, or even in the 20-100 KHz band like super-tweeters, but function in the Gigahertz frequency band (normally used for satellite and microwave communications). Ultra Tweeters organize and improve the energy flow in signal conductors as well as the internal wirings of speaker drivers, making the audio system perform more efficiently and synergistically.
tweeter
With Ultra Tweeters installed, the audio system produces a wider frequency bandwidth, lower noise floor, more "air," and lower distortion. Ultra Tweeters are compatible with any speakers and, because they operate at such extremely high frequencies, one does not have to worry about beaming, time alignment of drivers or matching the acoustic output of the existing speakers.

Operation: Ultra Tweeters may be placed on top of the existing speaker cabinets. They may also be placed in any other convenient location since they do not behave like conventional super-tweeters - i.e., they do not operate in the audio band, or in the 20-100 KHz bands of high-performance super-tweeters. In fact, Ultra Tweeters will even improve the performance of systems that include high-performance super-tweeters.



all the dogs in my neighborhood came over and i had to have all my fillings replaced, but i couldn't hear any difference.

[j.hall]

i'm having too much fun.

excerpt from website:

Magic Ring

The Magic Ring and Large Magic Ring can used with speaker cables, power cords and interconnects, as well as with the system components. The Magic Ring operates on the principle of "energy organizatio  magicring04n" in materials that conduct "signal" or electricity, as opposed to "conventional" principles such as magnetism or vibration control. The Magic Ring illuminates and expands the soundstage, lowers distortion and improves dynamics, especially micro dynamics.




SSHHHHHHHHHHH it's magic!!!!!

[j.hall]

Acoustic Disc

The most important component of your audio system is your surroundings. The same stereo system will sound quite different in different rooms. Golden Sound Acoustic Discs are a simple and effective way to minimize various unwanted reflections that distort the true sound from your speakers. Just place Golden Sound Acoustic Discs to the corners of your room and various strategic spots, and you will find a whole new listening experience as the room resonance suddenly disappears and you hear music for the first time without expensive upgrades.

Scientific measurement shows that Acoustic Discs reduce cumulative spectral decay from 30 to 50 percent between 80 to 15000 Hz. More importantly, Golden Sound Acoustic Discs reduce only the corner early reflection after 1 millisecond. This will retain the dynamics and ambience of the original recording.



it's scientifically proven, you can't argue with that, just buy them already!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MASSIVE Mastering]

I hope all these places take PayPal...  

[dcollins]

j.hall wrote on Wed, 31 August 2005 09:02

it's scientifically proven, you can't argue with that, just buy them already!!!!!!!!!!!!

<content edited>
DC

[tweakman]

It would be really interesting to have a couple of beers with a guy that actually bought 19,000 euros RCA cables!

Plus.. I can go home and tell my wife:  Ya' see, the $5000 I spent on the compressor wasn't that bad!!...  

[j.hall]

dcollins wrote on Wed, 31 August 2005 13:01

Just as I was about to announce my "Signature Series" of DVD rewinders!

you take paypal right?

i hear the DVD rewinders make them look and sound better when you play them.

doesn't it have something to do with the rewinders re-aligning all the bits more accurately?