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Author Topic: bizarrest mastering session?  (Read 5213 times)

Alécio Costa - Brazil

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I GUESS MINE ARE THE DUMBEST
« Reply #15 on: April 06, 2005, 10:44:19 pm »

Junior MAstering...
The guys recorded at home at an 8-track cassete tape porta studio...
Hey, I have heard you may polish it s if it were recorded at a top facility...
I transfer all the stuff to my daw, do the routine tasks, listen to his reference and try to match it...
There were songs one could hear some serious wow and flutter -lol
I give him the final masters..
Oh, It is good... but not as good as XXXXX. what might have gone wrong?
Laughing  Laughing  Laughing  Laughing

Tracking...
A local famous radio dj enters the vocal botth... Oh boy, you do not need to explain anything  to me. You were a baby and I was already recording in NY at late 60s.
I say: ok, Sir...
I am tracking him.. but not looking thru the glass.. his voice disappears....
I call him on the talkback... Sir.. what are you doing at the back wall?
The man: Oh.. have you never heard about the technique of FADE-OUT? I am doing it for you already
Laughing  Laughing  Laughing  Laughing

Mixing...
I was mixing an older guy and his very boring wife close to him.. They were all the time quarreling about mix decisions etc...
Then... I mispress the enter button of the 02R and he says: bingo, you've got it!!! Save this click at the automation!!
Then.. phone rings  and I lower the Control room volume.
2 minutes at the phone and I go back to mix..

The man: hey, Why didn't you save that thing into automix?
Me: but I didn't change anything!!
He says: but now the sound is not that good...

I think for a few seconds... raise the control room level..
Him: You great! You did it! You saved this song!

Laughing  Laughing
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Alécio Costa Studio
High-end Mastering, Music Production
http://www.aleciocosta.com

Listen to my album at:
http://www.audiostreet.net/aleciocosta

MySpace:
http://www.myspace.com/aleciocostamasterizacao

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #16 on: April 06, 2005, 11:36:58 pm »

LOL Al
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http://balancedmastering.com

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jazzius

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #17 on: April 07, 2005, 01:50:49 am »

Cool stuff...my favorites so far are the crazy panning box and the laquer drooler......keep 'em coming!

turtletone

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #18 on: April 07, 2005, 08:02:38 am »

Here's another, it's not mastering but it's funny.

I'm tracking an album for a very big duo. One day the singer decides that he's not going to speak for a year, but will sing. So now we're in the studio and he's scribbling stuff down on a pad and his partner is reading off this and that for me to do. He's sitting next to me and snapping his fingers to get my attention to point to a fader that he want's raised. We get through a couple of days of this and everyone starts freaking out (the label, publisist, managers). So he then decides that he will give 7 people a hand made gold cross. These 7 will be the chosen people that he will talk to only on wednesday and only if they are wearing the cross. If they are on the phone, he makes them clink the cross on the phone to ensure that they are wearing it. This goes on for about 2 weeks. one day I decide that i'm not going to see for a month, I want to play too. I go into the studio and I put artist tape over my eyes so I can't see. I'm sitting at the console with my eyes taped shut, he's sitting next to me snapping his fingers to get my attention, scribbles something on the paper for me to do. I can't read it cause my eyes are taped shut. The assistant reads off the requests and then places my fingers on the correct faders or eq's. We worked for 3 days like this. Then he decides that he will speak to me everyday if i'm wearing the cross but I can't talk to anyone else unless they are wearing a cross (if I take the tape off of my eyes). So now I'm the go between for him and all the other cross barers. They ask a question, I ask him, he gives the answer, I make up something completely arbitrary and tell them. (what color coat does he want to wear for the show thrusday? I ask him, he says purple, I tell them yellow with fluffy cuffs. He hears me say this but can't tell them that it's wrong. He's yelling at me saying that's not what he said. I hang up the phone and hit play on the tape machine. thursday he's on stage with a yellow coat and fluffy cuffs.) He's speaking on friday.
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Michael Fossenkemper
TurtleTone Studio
info@turtletonestudio.com
www.turtletonestudio.com

bblackwood

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #19 on: April 07, 2005, 08:05:38 am »

Hahaha, that one's great, Mike!

I've never had such people to deal with. Makes me even more glad after reading some of these...
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Brad Blackwood
euphonic masters

OTR-jkl

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #20 on: April 07, 2005, 08:39:11 am »

That's funny, Mike!!
You should've put the tape over your ears...
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J Lowes · OTR Mastering
Professional Audio Production for Life
www.ShoutLife.com/OTRMastering

Jerry Tubb

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #21 on: April 07, 2005, 11:20:01 am »

I have a client that composes "new age" chant music. Each repetition of the chant lasts about a minute, then repeats about 30 times. Per his instructions we combed the entire chant, choosing the best instances of each syllable... yes, I said  SYLLABLE, and combined them in different arrangements to form an hour long chant!

Not quite as easy as that, we had to tweak edits and cross-fade each syllable, remove any offensive breath or other vocal sounds, pencil tool any clicks or pops, and EQ each syllable to sound as smooth and homogeneous as possible!

Not done yet, according to his preference, we would EQ each verse (repitition) to reduce any slight hint of low mid resonance or high mid harshness.

Still after all this work the composer didn't like the overall sound of the chant until I got the bright idea to spread the stereo image about 20%... He Loved It!

The whole project took us about 200 hours over a series of weeks, although very enjoyable listening, my patience had been stretched to the maximum. Kinda like being "hammered" with a powder puff for 200 hours!

Oh yeah... I almost forgot, we also did a cassette version, with endless hours of evaluating cassette refs from the duplicator.

And to top all that, over the last 15 years, we've done FIVE of these projects, all with equal amounts of obsessive detail!!!
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Terra Nova Mastering
Celebrating 20 years of Mastering!

Jerry Tubb

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #22 on: April 07, 2005, 11:57:49 am »

I know I should probably limit (pun) myself to one "Bizarre Session" post, but I couldn't resist telling this one, which is totally opposite of my previous post.

Back in the early 90's Austin was quite a "hotbed" of alt-rock music, and still is for that matter. The producer on this session is well known for his edgy style. We spend 6-8 hours mastering this "beautiful" heavy grunge alt-rock project, make DAT dubs, and burn a 1x CD master. It was a challenging session with lots of details, cross-fades, and a few sfx.

I was beginning anticipate that sense of relief that comes toward the end of a long session. About that time producer says "OK now lets run it back through the console with the faders all the way up, and overdrive the master." Say What?. The producer said "yeah, I want to red light the whole thing!" I was incensed!

So we did it, ...twice! Once with solid red lights, a second time, with solid red lights, that at least blinked occasionally! Although the sound was torturous, and the console was almost smoking, he Loved It!!! The label released it, and for a few years, it was probably the loudest, ugliest CD on the planet!

I should add that people called us from all over, wanting that same horrible sound!
... a dubious honor for a ME.
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Terra Nova Mastering
Celebrating 20 years of Mastering!

jimmyjazz

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #23 on: April 07, 2005, 12:03:48 pm »

Hey, JT . . . good to see you here.  I bet I know which CD that is.  I won't disclose my guess, though!
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bobkatz

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #24 on: April 07, 2005, 04:20:56 pm »

I can't top that, but I do recall the most obsessive violinist, had me replace small parts of phrases, one or two bars long, that made no musical difference to my trained editing ears. I finally asked him exactly what he was doing, and it turned out that he admitted most people could not hear this difference, but he was doing it so that other violinists would be able to appreciate (or admire) his turns of phrase. This had absolutely nothing to do with the musicality of the recording or the intended listening audience.

Sure ate up the record company's budget...


BK
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dcollins

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #25 on: April 08, 2005, 11:58:05 pm »

bobkatz wrote on Thu, 07 April 2005 13:20

I can't top that, but I do recall the most obsessive violinist, had me replace small parts of phrases, one or two bars long, that made no musical difference to my trained editing ears.



You must do a lot of soundtracks, Bob.

Quote:


I finally asked him exactly what he was doing, and it turned out that he admitted most people could not hear this difference, but he was doing it so that other violinists would be able to appreciate (or admire) his turns of phrase.



Who is more familiar with the material, you or the fiddler?

And for once it's not an audiophile question!

DC


Bob Boyd

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #26 on: April 09, 2005, 12:06:31 pm »

I love reading these stories.  

I started a session last year where the recording engineer mixed it and was making the decisions on the masters for the client.  This was the artist's first project, she was young and (too) trusting.  I mastered a few songs and, in this case, posted them for the engineer to listen to.  He asked for revisions but was having a difficult time trying to communicate what he wanted.  After several frustrating "back and forths" he sent me this email...

-----

Bob-

In an effort to communicate more clearly and specifically I went ahead and mastered a song this morning.  I think it might help to give you an exact eq of what I am hearing:

GAIN     -10.2dB
FREQ.     482.7Hz
Q           0.6


GAIN     -7.1dB
FREQ.    3.4k
Q          1.5


GAIN    +1.4dB
FREQ.    5.58k
Q         2.4

GAIN    -2.5dB
FREQ.    13.4k
Q          1.8

Oh, and I also rolled of everthing below 48Hz and above 17k.

-----

Notice not only the gain but the Q settings he recommended as well!  

Just to try to get a clue what this would sound like, I called this up on the Weiss EQ1.  Simply, unbelievably, bad.

I called him on the phone and said "Did you feel good about your mixes?"

"Yes." he replied.

"And you like this EQ you're recommending?"

"Yes."

"For the first time in 11 years of mastering, I'm going to pass on your project and send your mixes back to you."

Leaving him somewhat dumbfounded, I said "sorry we wasted each others time" and I hung up.  I heard the disc when it came out - he "mastered" it himself...
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Bob Boyd
ambientdigital, Houston

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Look, I know it's mean.  But sometimes the end justifies the mean.

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Re: bizarrest mastering session?
« Reply #27 on: April 09, 2005, 01:53:59 pm »

Quote:

"For the first time in 11 years of mastering, I'm going to pass on your project and send your mixes back to you."



There you go.

Welcome to the club.
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"Listen and Learn"
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