Quote: "There's a joke in there somewhere".
Thanks for the photo's, the Piano seems to be in excellent condition,
From what one can see, I gained the impression that the Piano has seen relatively little use, and having been stored in a controlled environment, I believe you will soon have a tremendous Musical boon at your fingertips, for little effort and very minimal cost indeed. It's quite a coup. I very much trust and hope so.
Very well done, good for you!
Looking at the pictures, I wondered whether the Piano had at one time belonged to Dudley Moore, I very much expect so, and perhaps later had been installed in a Club/Bar that catered for Live Music, which had subsequently passed into other use, with the Piano eventually passing into long term storage.
Without any beating about the bush, this brings me to the real point of this reply. You see there used to be an Antique Dealer in a nearby town. And Ronnie, the Proprietor of this establishment had a good pal, who curiously, shared the same forename. The first 'Ronnie' grew up as a boy very near to my present home, and went to school here, and so 'retired' here, eventually selling antiques.
These two, were a real couple of comedians whenever they got together, anyway, to cut a long story short Ronnie's pal (Ronnie) threw a big Party one time for a lot of 'beautiful people' and 'celebs', and between the two of them, they knew an awful lot of them indeed.
Entertainers, Producers, Writers, Golfers...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cz2-ukrd2VQAnyway, to cut right to the chase, the thing was, that in Ronnie's pal's (Ronnie) home, was a Baby Grand Piano lying extremely close to the Floor, at almost precisely the same height as the Piano appears to be in the pictures posted in this thread shown earlier.
Well, to be honest, Ronnie took quite a bit of ribbing about it, from his friends gathered there, mainly because like Dudley himself, he was somewhat challenged vertically as an individual. Personally this wasn't a problem, because he is pretty thick skinned and always enjoyed a tremendous laugh, even if the joke was at his own expense.
And boy, did his guests, make a joke about it.
They asked,' if he played the Piano very much?'
He replied that, 'although he did play, he wasn't any kind of virtuoso, so he didn't play much, at all.'
An entertainment lawyer who happened to be amongst them piped up 'why have a Grand Piano then, if you don't really play much?'
A reasonable question, if somewhat impolitely put. Ronnie answered enigmatically, 'well the Piano is mainly used by someone else altogether.'
'Anne?' They probed. 'Oh No', he said, 'my wife doesn't play'.
'Well who..' They asked.
'I can't tell you, and anyway even if I did you simply wouldn't believe me, so there's no point in answering' he replied.
Now, their curiosity was really aroused, a Grand Piano for a seemingly non-existent member of the household that had never been seen or heard of before by anyone?
They had had a few drinks by now and cajoled and harassed him, until finally Ronnie gave in and told them what they wanted to know. 'The truth is, that the Piano is so low to the ground, not because I play it, as you want to imply, but because we have a very intelligent pet, who can perform many remarkable feats, and one of these feats, (because the pet is extremely talented in very many ways, not least for instance his appreciation of the English language, but especially musically), is being able to play the Piano, so in fact the Piano is primarily used by our cat, Tiddles.'
There were roars of laughter from the entire crowd gathered there with raucous calls to' prove it', and loud demands to 'hear a performance' by this remarkable cat. Ronnie simply dismissed these by stating that 'the cat had been let out for the night and probably wouldn't be back till quite late'.
Obviously, his claims were ridiculed, and his veracity repeatedly called into question not least by the increasingly dramatic demands of the Lawyer.
Eventually, he turned to his quietly smiling wife, and said, 'Darling, it's starting to darken over outside, would you mind awfully, calling and seeing if we can get Tiddle's to come in'.
Off she went, out into the garden and we could hear her making 'kiss noise's' and calling out to 'Tiddles'.
After a time, when the cat didn't come, and everyone said, 'you haven't even got a cat have you' Ronnie turned to Anne and asked her, 'could you please open a tin of cat food and put out a saucer of milk? I've never known him be long after some food was put out for him.'
And sure enough she did this and, after a while, I could see a pair of eyes traverse the garden in the dimming light, heading towards the kitchen.
Meanwhile Ronnie had been keeping his guests more than entertained, by telling them of other remarkable feats the cat could perform.
Apparently, the cat was able to comprehend stupendously good English although his own communication skills appeared to stop at nodding and shaking the head.
Furthermore, the cat was not simply a Pianist, (that was something he had caught on to after hanging around a local jazz night club with other cool cats) but rather an accomplished Feline Composer in his own right.
By now, quite a few bottles had been drained entirely, and the friendly crowd were strongly baying for a Grand Performance.
Mary asked everyone to be extremely quiet, and to stay quiet, before she would bring Tiddle's (who I had seen pacing back and forth brushing his tail against her leg) into the room. When everyone quietened down, she brought him in and carefully placed him on Ronnie's lap.
Ronnie looked lovingly into the cats eyes and spoke with gentle whispers to Tiddles stroking him under his chin, and then took him purring over to the Piano keyboard, where the cat stood poised ready to play, but looked for his cue to begin, and listened intently as Ronnie spoke to the friends gathered before them.
'Tiddle's will now play a favourite of his, a piece he composed all by himself entitled 'A Cry In The Night' Thank You Tiddles'.
There was a brief round of polite applause, and then to everyone's utter amazement, Tiddle's began to touch the keys and play a hauntingly beautiful, very moving theme.
Not to be unkind, rather to be quite truthful, Tiddles was not a truly great Pianist. He pawed the keys rather, there was questionable fingering to a trained ear, and certain parts of the Music seemed somewhat padded out.
However, it was a singularly awesome experience seeing and hearing him perform, and the quality and depth of the Composition, was strikingly obvious to the ears of absolutely everyone who was privileged to hear it.
As he roundly completed the Finale to deafeningly rapturous applause, and great cheers of acclamation, a couple of Americans who had appeared at the front of the crowd, and had been whispering back and forth during the performance, (Film Producers as I recall) suddenly declaimed to Ronnie in a very loud voice..
'We need to take this cat to Hollywood' ,
'He will be a Hit',
'His Music will be a Hit',
'This is truly Momentous',
'There are no limits to how far you can go with this Act'.
I could see that Tiddle's was looking quite intently at them as they spoke, his head was tilted as if he was wondering, questioning all they were saying and what it all would mean.
Then, perspiring heavily, and talking really loudly by now, through the stupor of drink, one of the Producers said. 'what you need to do next...
Is to take this cats piece, have a proper job done on it, professionally...
Completely Orcastrated'.
There was an equally loud 'Meow', in retort.
From my vantage point I could see, all the hair on Tiddle's body stood on end, his ears pointed upward like dreaming spires, his tail stiff as a flag pole.
In a flash, he jumped from the keyboard, onto the Piano Lid. Without extending his claws on the pads of his paws, the momentum carried him skidding all the way across the highly polished Piano Lid, right to the closest open window.
With one great leap, he was through it, and vanished into the depths of the night.
Never to be seen again.
P
