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Author Topic: Mastering book titles (collated)  (Read 5210 times)

David Das

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Mastering book titles (collated)
« on: April 14, 2005, 08:16:08 am »

I so enjoyed the thread on the top list of titles for Dave Collins' new proposed book on Mastering that I decided to collate the posts and number them neatly, for those of us who'd care to archive this somewhere (or those of us who plan future books on mastering and need some title ideas...)

1) If Bob says it's true, then I don't believe it!
2) No Emoticons Around Here
3) The Devil Made Me Do It
4) Take This Monitor Calibration and Shove it
5) Put Some Hips on that, Dude
6) It's Only Music After All
7) No One Ever Died From Overcompression
8) We Don't Allow Transients In This Hotel
9) Whatever Floats Your Boat
10) Mastering Audio, the Fart Joke
11) Mastering Audio, the fArt and the Science
12) Mastering My Way - Or You Suck
13) Mastering - The Stuff That BK Forgot
14) How To Master Without Meters or Waveform Graphs Getting In The Way
15) Diary of a Mad Man
16) The Curmudgeonly Guide to Audio Mastering (aka RTFM)
17) It ain't overs till the Fat Lady sings
18) Sonic Refinement via Clipping
19) The 3 Most Important Considerations in Mastering: Dither, Coffee, and Dither.
20) Ohm Sweet Ohm
21) Sam's Club Presents: Learn Mastering in 21 Days (subtitled "Of Course You Can Master Your Own Stuff - Just Normalize it and use the plug-ins in your DAW")
22) Big Label Mastering: How To Clip It and Still Make the 5:05 To The Hamptons
23) Mastering For The 21st Century - Listen To Your Ears, Not Your Peers
24) Audio Mastering for (the rest of you) Dummies
25) All You Need is Love
26) Bob is From Mars, Dave is From Venus
27) Mastering: Why so Terribly Loud?
28) Which Way to Upward Expansion?
29) Understanding Dither in .5 Easy Steps
30) Zen, and the Art of Cutting it Flat
31) Microdynamics. Threat or Menace?
32) Jitter. Are you Getting Enough?
33) Mono. The New Stereo?
34) Just because Bob claims something nutty, it must be true. So stop trying to fight it. Ok?
35) It wasn't ME!
36) Black Hole Sum
37) Dynamics: where we're going, we don't need no stinkin' DYNAMICS...
38) Mastering: Beating it 'til it bleeds...
39) Home decorater special: expensive rooms that are designed to separate the life from the music...
40) All the bits...All the time
41) Mastering for your iPod
42) Similarities between mastering and the game of Squash
43) Mastering guidelines for the deaf
44) Your mix guy sucks, but I can fix it.
45) Audio Mastering for the Visually Impaired
46) That's Why I Get The Medium Dollars
47) A book on mastering? What's next - an audio CD of a painting?
48) The small world of one's own hype
49) Who wrote the book of love?
50) How To Obsessively Go On and On About Things Which Nearly No One Gives A Damn About
51) How to do Madonna without smashing her mixdown
52) Mastering for music you want to listen to in 10 years
53) Mastering/Alchemy: Turning lead into gold
54) Mastering/Reverse Alchemy: Turning gold into pancake
55) Learning to love pancake
56) Mastering: Misinterpreting the artists/producers vision for a living
57) If I Can Believe My Own Crap, You Can Too!
58) A Little Bit Oh Disc, A Little Bit Oh Dat
59) Doug Sax Owes Me Money!!!
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David Das
Producer/keyboardist
Nashville, TN
www.daviddas.com

bblackwood

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Re: Mastering book titles (collated)
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2005, 04:01:19 pm »

Got some free time there, eh?
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Brad Blackwood
euphonic masters

ammitsboel

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Re: Mastering book titles (collated)
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2005, 05:28:08 am »

Just got this from a friend:
60) What did you say? (My hearing aid battery is flat).
61) The image is off to one side. (co-written with Vincent van Gogh).

There could also be a mathematical paper:

The R**** Transform: Translation from 3D space to 2D membrane.
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"The male brain is designed for ecstasy" -Dr. Harvey "Gizmo" Rosenberg
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