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Author Topic: YOU can depend on TOM CRUISE  (Read 4414 times)

Andy Peters

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Re: YOU can depend on TOM CRUISE
« Reply #45 on: January 18, 2008, 08:32:03 pm »

phantom309 wrote on Thu, 17 January 2008 22:43

J.J. Blair wrote on Wed, 16 January 2008 23:12

And check out the whacky monitor set up:
http://www.ronthemusicmaker.org/music/p68_1.jpg


THAT is a Stephens suggestion.

John was ALL over those arrays and gave Dave Amels and I about 45 minutes of reasons why it works so well.


It's a mini line array. How well it works depends on the driver spacing. If done right, it could be real good.

If done wrong, it's a Shure Vocal Master.

-a
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Bill_Urick

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How about Appliantology?
« Reply #46 on: January 20, 2008, 06:34:32 pm »

Frank Zappa - A Token Of My Extreme Lyrics

Act II

SCENE NINE
A TOKEN OF MY EXTREME

Arriving at L. Ron Hoover's modernistic office / cathedral / ware-house /
condominium complex, Joe is greeted by a pre-recorded message and
a dramatically illuminated image on a wall-sized TV screen...

L. RON HOOVER:
Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology!
The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only!

Don't you be
Tarot-fied
It's just a token of my extreme
Don't you be
Tarot-fied
It's just a token of my extreme
Don't you never try to look behind my eyes
You don t wanna know what they have seen
Don't you never try to look behind my eyes
You don't wanna know what they have seen

JOE: (thinking to himself)
Some people think
That if they go too far
They'll never get hack
To where the rest of them are
I might be crazy
But there's one thing I know
You might be surprised
At what you find when ya go!

And thus, having rationalized his expedition to L. Ron's modernistic office /
cathedral / warehouse / condominium complex, JOE seeks The Answer to
his problem...

JOE:
Oh oh oh
Mystical Advisor
What is my problem, tell me
Can you see?

L. RON HOOVER:
Well, you have nothing to fear, my son!
You are a Latent Appliance Fetishist, It appears to me!

JOE:
That all seems very, very strange
I never craved a toaster
Or a color T. V.

L. RON HOOVER:
A Latent Appliance Fetishist
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself
That sexual gratification can only be achieved
Through the use of MACHINES... Get the picture?

JOE:
Are you telling me
I should come out of the closet now Mr. Ron?

L. RON HOOVER:
No, my son!
You must go into THE CLOSET
And you will have
A lot of fun!
That's where they all live
So if you want an
Appliance to love you
You'll have to go in there
N' get you one

JOE:
Well...that seems simple enough...

L. RON HOOVER:
Yes, but if you want a really GOOD one,
You'll have to learn a foreign language...

JOE:
German, for instance?

L. RON HOOVER:
That's right...
A lot of really cute ones come from over there!
(Fifty bucks, please)

And a cheerful group of Appliantologists dance into the room wearing
aluminum foil lab smocks, lock arms in a circle around JOE, making
sure he pays in full, all the while singing with L. RON as he delivers
nis final instructions...

L. RON HOOVER:
If you been
Mod-O-fied,
It's an illusion,
an yer in between
Don't you be
Tarot-fied,
It's just a lot of nothin,'
So what can it mean?
If you been
Mod-O-fied,
It's an illusion,
an yer in between
Don't you be
Tarot-fied,
It's just a lot of nothin,
So what can it mean?
(etc., etc., etc.)

JOE leaves the First Church of Appliantology and sets out to try L. RON s expensive advice

CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe has just learned to speak
German Now, get this, heres why he did it! He's gonna go to this club on
the other side of town, it's called THE CLOSET...
And they got these Appliances in there that really go for a guy dressed up
like a housewife who can speak German (you know what I mean)... so
Joe's learned how to speak German, he goes in this place and he sees
these little Kitchen Machineries dancing around with each other, and he
sees this one...that looks like it's a cross between an industrial vacuum
cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over its body...
it's really exciting...and when he sees it, he BURSTS INTO SONG...

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Good sense is, of all things among men, the most equally distributed; for everyone thinks himself so abundantly provided with it, that those even who are the most difficult to satisfy in everything else, do not usually desire a larger measure of this quality than they already possess.

J.J. Blair

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Re: How about Appliantology?
« Reply #47 on: January 21, 2008, 12:59:48 am »

My favorite part is when he plooks him to death and they ask him to compensate them, and he says, "But I can't pay.  I gave all my money to some groovy religious guy two songs ago."
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studio info

They say the heart of Rock & Roll is still beating, which is amazing if you consider all the blow it's done over the years.

"The Internet enables pompous blowhards to interact with other pompous blowhards in a big circle jerk of pomposity." - Bill Maher

"The negative aspects of this business, not only will continue to prevail, but will continue to accelerate in madness. Conditions aren't going to get better, because the economics of rock and roll are getting closer and closer to the economics of Big Business America." - Bill Graham

mgod

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Re: How about Appliantology?
« Reply #48 on: January 21, 2008, 12:05:48 pm »

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"There IS no Coolometer." - Larry Janus
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