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Author Topic: top 16 comments from COPS  (Read 614 times)

studiojimi

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top 16 comments from COPS
« on: May 06, 2007, 11:56:52 am »

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around
the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think itwill help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we hav e a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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CAZADOR RECORDING
STUDIOJIMI'S PSW SONG FORUM
MY MYSPACE
How very good and pleasant it is
when kindred live together in unity!
Psalm 133:1

Barry Hufker

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Re: top 16 comments from COPS
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2007, 12:26:15 am »

Thanks Jimi!  That's a great list.  I only wish I could be clever enough to say some of those things.  Now... I wonder how many of those were off-the-cuff and how many were rehearsed during any number of previous arrests.

Barry
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