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[audio~geek]

Not in the studio but...
Back when I was in a band we used to like to trick our drummer.
One time I said" Danny, more reverb on the snare!"
And he tried.

He also liked to do practice count-ins, before actually counting in.

[j.hall]

client standing over my shoulder says:

"man, i can clearly see this is a great mix, look at all the colors you got on the screen......."

[Randall Squires]

In the middle of editing this one "MC's" vocals, he gets on his cell phone, calls up some guy and proceeds to have a conversation about a "fishing pole" that he left in the guys back yard, that he needed to pick it up, knew that it had no "bait" in it, and that he was going to put some in.....cuz he needed to use it. Can you say shotgun? Last time I ever let him near the studio.

Though on the other side, a realy famous Hip-Hop artist and his whole entourage were some of the best chess players that I had ever encountered...we also ended up talking philosophy. Goes to show I guess.

[Fibes]

Young Indie Rockers start into a tune, I stop them and hit talkback:

Fibes-"The guitar is out of tune"

YIR-"I beg to differ"

Fibes-"Honestly I don't stop bands for no reason"

YIR-"It's perfect"

I walk to TR, pick up tuner and patch it in.

Fibes-"See, every string is sharp."

YIR-"My guitar is always sharp on tuners"

Fibes- <incredulous look on my face> "Maybe you should send it back."

Whew.

[mmazurek]

...end of a vocal take, singer asks...

  "How was that?"


Records a double with the original track playing.
At the end, he hears himself say "How was that?" and responds...

  "Sounded good, what do you think?"

[ScotcH]

mmazurek wrote on Thu, 26 April 2007 10:29

...end of a vocal take, singer asks...   "How was that?" Records a double with the original track playing. At the end, he hears himself say "How was that?" and responds...   "Sounded good, what do you think?"

Oh man, that's gold .... did  you get the response on tape?

[MikeNice81]

Cult_Status02 wrote on Sat, 07 April 2007 01:56

Rappers (and I hate this term for some reason, not sure how you guys feel as I'm new here.): "Can you school and chop this?"

  I can't believe they said "school and chop." It is supposed to be "Screw and Chop." Since You are not DJ Screw and he is currently dead... there really is only one answer.

"Screwed" music sounds like garbage anyway. It reminds me of a cassette single with bleed through from the other side.

[MikeNice81]

I was in the studio while a friend recorded a rapper. I swear the rapper said...

Rapper: "Can you give me another voice?"
Eng: "What?"
Rapper: "You know when you make my voice keep going."
Eng: "You want echo?"
Rapper: "No I want to hear the word repeat a couple of times after I say something!"

I was working a live show with a band that was less than stellar. The guitar player was less than brilliant.

GP: "I can't hear the rest of the band."
Me: "I have everybody up in the monitors. Maybe you should turn down your amp a little."
GP: "No I need more monitor."
I turn up his monitor mix full blast
GP: "Still can't hear the band."
I get him to stop playing and I can hear his monitor all the way across the club.
Gp: "What did you do? I can hear the band now."

[audio~geek]

A&R guy comes into the studio and the band plays what they've recorded.
"Its good but, is that clicking sound going to be in the mix?"
Referring to the click track.

[McAllister]

Dude 1: Yeah, man, we tune down to E flat.
Dude 2: Really?
Dude 1: Yeah, we've pretty much done everything you can do in A 440.

- - -

Guy who just bought his first bass: It's really cool but I wish I'd gotten a fretless.
Me: Why?
Guy: I don't wanna be restricted by notes.


These are pretty good, too.
From Bob Clearmountain's site:
http://www.bobclearmountain.com/bugsusframeset.html

M

[ssltech]

Reggae vocalist, requesting adjustment to his headphone mix:

"Mista apareeatah... can I have maar beass at all frequencies?"
_________

Also, 'artist', commenting on a mix balance early in the mixdown... (somehow I knew this was going to be a long day...):

"Can you make everything less bassy, then roll all the treble off everything as well... -then pull out the mids and make everything louder?"
_________

Old Scottish blues player, upon seeing young guitarist intently staring at his tuner during a tune-up. Grabbed the strings at the neck, to stop the youngster from continuing, then in a Scottish brogue, intoned:

"Ne-eer tune up laddie..."

[long pause...]

[and then -leaning closer- and in whispered tones, as if imparting some ancient, closely-guarded secret:]

"...-tis a sign o' weakness!!!"
_________

Guitarist... No.  Strike that.  Guitar owner, after first pass, replying to the comment "I think we should check the tuning.... -sounds like it might be a little off to me."

"No. -Can't be. -I had it tuned last week."
_________

Definition of a gentleman:

-A man who CAN play the trombone... -but doesn't.
_________

Keef

[grantis]

that had to be the funniest bunch of quotes yet

[pete andrews]

from last nights session with a high school prog-ish rock band doing guitar overs.
guitar guy is using a super reverb with some sort of boss "do-it-all" floorboard processor in front of it, set to a "5150" modeling preset. what the hell? needless to say it sounds awful.

guitar guy: "can you use like um a ah... noise reducer on this intro part... cause i uhh usually have lots of noise and stuff going on right before the intro... like when we play live"
(runs his left hand up and down the neck making squeeky crappy digtal zippery noises come out of the pedal board thing)
me: "i'm sorry - what exactly do you want?"
guitar guy: "yeah .... uh like... do you have a noise reducer you can use for this intro? so i can get like all this noise in there?"
(again, makes all sorts of unusable chirps and scratches come from the super reverb sitting in the other room"
me: "wait, are you saying you want all that noise on there?"
guitar guy: "yeah yeah"
me: "so you want a noise increaser."
guitar guy:"no no.... i usually have all this noise coming from my amp when we are playing live and i want it on there... do you have a noise reducer on this right now?"
me: (thinking this kid needs classes in basic english communication skills) "no - that's part of your preset on that floorboard you have. it's got a noise gate on it. evidently."
guitar guy: "yeah - ok - nevermind."
me: "great! lets get started then!" *turns toward console and rolls eyes*

-pete

[don kerce]

From a session yesterday.

Songwriter to steel guitar player-"Can you make that pedal steel guitar sound like a strummed banjo?"

[velvet]

From the rehersal for a "live" concert of bunch of "Pop Idol" finalists in european country in a concert hall:

The song is beying played back from a CD (one of those "live concerts... ) , a sound engeneer is operating it.

Everybody in the hall hears someone is out of tune. Even the "Talent" registers something is not OK.

>Talent (after the song ends) to the micophone , (as a coach to his student):
"...Hey yo soundman, you have to repair somethin' with your CD player!"

>Sound Engeneer: "...????  Nothing's wrong with it."

>Talent: "No man, it is playing out of tune."