first i notice the drums seem late... whether they are or not, i think you've got to work on the groove... the kick drum is not happening for me. like it's out of phase or something?
the rhodes needs to be deep imo, i would put the reverb there, and i would make sure it is a "thread" that runs throughout.. it is an anchor but it is very weak that way for me.
is there a bass guitar here or just the low end of the rhodes? either way.. get the rhythm section together please... my body hangs limp... i wanna slow dance but i cannot pick up the groove....
the vocals need to be more... intense... more contrast between stress and unwinding. i do not feel your pain enough, i do not feel the emotions here enough... i know you can get a more intimate feeling, take us inside your soul please... i feel very unsure what the song is really about.
the acoustic sounds like it is playing in a different room than the rhodes.. it is like my right speaker is the fretboard, weak body... let it ring, you've got a damn rhodes on the other side... like you are afraid to let some chords that want to form actually happen . by contrast to the acoustic, the rhodes works better for me... that guitar is not in any space i can relate to at the moment
background vox... god, that's beautiful! the harmonies.. why can't those vocals be louder?
timing seems a major problem here... the "band" doesn't seem committed to playing together as a unit. you've got to create this "fusion energy" but it must be hard if you're playing every part... because you may want to assume different personalities for each instrument. but what is the personality of the song at any one moment, and what is each instrument adding to it at that moment?
comperssion could not "glue" this together well enough, imo... it needs some help finding it' moods... the topography of arrangement... make some surprises there perhaps? the arrangement doesn't really seem to be worked on as such... not that i am good at arranging but it just feels static to me.
ostensibly the song tells a story about something?...so it has a beginning, middle, third act, etc... takes us someplace... some conclusion or epiphany is reached... or we all went dancing and had a wonderful time. or we built up a tension and released it and it felt great. etc... some purpose to the art other than: "to hang on the wall".
so imo, all the work should be toward making clear what you meant to express... so the listener can step in your shoes and feel the same way. all of which is not clear to me from listening a few times yet.
jeff dinces
